Liberty Belle – Ashley Battle

Ashley Battle

Height: 6’0’’
College: Connecticut
Position: Forward
Years Pro: 2
Age: 25
National Basketball Player of: Lichtenstein

Small country, Big Basketball Player

Ashley Battle is a great basketball player. While still young and prone to a few mistakes, she’s quickly defined herself as a go-to gal when the going get’s tough.

Battle Royale, sans the Japanese kids killing each other

Her PPG is three points higher this season than her career average, not to mention having several career games while being second in total rebounds.

Watch your back, ladies. She’s going to pick up your guys on the rebound.

She held court at UConn, where she was the Big East’s Defensive Player of the Year in 2002-3 while leading her team in steals. Not to mention the fact that she’s from PITTSBURGH!!!

Black and Gold represent!

This means that she is AUTOMATICALLY the best player in the WNBA. Keep your Taurasis, Jacksons, and Catchings…es. Ashley Battle is the (wo)MAN!

If Battle's shadow touches your form, her temple guards will kill you instantly

When you go out to drink your sorrows away tonight (or maybe that’s just me), raise your rotgut high and sing a toast to Battle. According to Lore, if she hears and likes your song, you will find chicken wings a-plenty underneath your pillow tonight!

Thooo good... ragh...Mmph… mi muv Mattle!

Until tomorrow, kids.

See ya, Space Cowboy...