Jersey Girl... er, Guy

Okay, so here’s the deal. Everyone is partial to their own team’s jersey (unless you’re the Buffalo Banana-Slugs… I mean, the Sabres).

Logo inspired by UCSC

To give you a sense of what I like, compare the above design with a (in my mind superior) discarded design...

That thump you heard is a million Sabres fans who just hung themselves.

This is a subjective process. This is a small blog. No one really cares. It’s all in good fun. However, that said, there are a few things I look for in a Jersey.

1. Simplicity...

And Lo! God saw that it was good!

2. Overall Package...

Black and Gold are royal colors in the ‘Burgh

3. Classiness...

No one hates the Yankees more than me, but the Pinstripes? Faggedabahdit!

Thus, I will be judging on four criteria: Color Scheme (how the colors work together), Clarity (How it looks as one piece), Unique Qualities (something that makes the jersey stand out), and Intangibles (It could be awful, but a GOOD awful). All points are out of five. The Overall Score is out of 20, with all the scores combined.

0-3: An Abomination. Born of Demon’s minds and inked in human blood.
4-7: Pretty Bad. It brings shame on those who wear it.
8-11: Eh. Has some merit to it, but mainly for the hometown fans. Mediocre.
12-15: Solid Jersey. Strong visuals, good impressions. It speaks for itself.
16+ : Cream of the Crop. A Classic. Even I would wear one of these.

And here is the run-down…

CHICAGO SKY

Color Scheme: 1 – Puke Yellow and Powder Blue. UCLA manages it because of the decades of dominance and drug use by their supporters, but Chicago? Like my mom said about my clothes, I guess they'll just have to grow into it.

Clarity: 4 – Not a powerful jersey, but it’s definitely simple and to-the-point. Bravo.

Unique Qualities: 3 – See those buildings down the side? A nice touch, although it muddies up the clarity a bit.

Intangibles: 3 – Out of pity. Sorry the team is so bad. At least their uniforms are okay.

OVERALL: 11. It’s not as bad as the team that wears it, but then again, it pretty much couldn’t be.

CONNECTICUT SUN

Color Scheme: 5 – Hell yeah. A little white would have been nice, but the blue-gold-red look just looks GOOD.

Clarity: 4 – Despite the suns on the side of the jersey, this jersey looks fluid and strong.

Unique Qualities: 4 – Check out that sun at the side. Not only does it rock the whole Mohegan angle, but it’s as close to a logo as one can get without looking fugly.

Intangibles: 4 – Good jersey, but the Sun had an easier time creating something new, fun, and interesting as they were not basing it off of an NBA team.

OVERALL: 17. Very good stuff.

DETROIT SHOCK

Color Scheme: 2.5 - Yawn. It looks okay, but the red and blue could have been mixed better.

Clarity: 5 - Straight to the point. We wear this ‘cuz we have to. You want us to take it off? We’ll beat the snot outta anyway.

Unique Qualities: 3 - Nice lightning strike down the sides. It adds to the whole “Shock” thing, and looks good doing it. Some white would have been nice to accentuate it, though.

Intangibles: 3 - Solid jersey, but some white/red highlights would have gone a long way.

OVERALL: 13.5. Another solid jersey for the folks from the Mitten.

HOUSTON COMETS

Color Scheme: 4 - Red and White with blue trim. THAT is how it is done, Detroit.

Clarity: 4 – This would have been a 5 if it weren’t for those zillions of stars on the sides. Is this 3rd grade art class? Then why all the glitter?

Unique Qualities: 1 – The Stars. Ugh. Did someone sneeze while designing this?

Intangibles: 5 – I don’t know. This jersey just has a great look. It would’ve been so much better without the stars, though.

OVERALL: 14. Runs red like the blood in the veins of their eyes.

INDIANA FEVER

Color Scheme: 2 - Blue. And Red. And White. And Yellow. And Black. And all over the place. Pick something and STICK WITH IT!

Clarity: 2 – Lines all over the place, that also shift at the back. Maybe they’re trying to confuse their opponents. Like WWII Transport Ships.

Unique Qualities: 2 – Classy lettering and numbers ruined by the colors and blahness.

Intangibles: 0 – Really, this could’ve been great. Instead, it comes across as a mish-mash of different ideas.

OVERALL: 6. This could’ve been a lot worse, but the shotgun effect did work in ONE instance: there are enough decent things within the rubbish to bring this up from awful.

LOS ANGELES SPARKS

Color Scheme: 3.5 - Purple and yellow aren’t the greatest color scheme, but like the Lakers, they pull it off. It looks… not half-bad.

Clarity: 3.5 – Fairly clear. I’m not the biggest fan of those “sparks” on the side of the jerseys, but… they’re okay.

Unique Qualities: 4 - An almost-all-purple jersey? That’s gotta be given some props.

Intangibles: 1 – It can’t quite decide between simplicity and gawdiness, and thus, it’s stuck in between.

OVERALL: 12. Overall, a very okay jersey. At least it tried.

MINNESOTA LYNX

Color Scheme: 4 - Strong choices (courtesy of the Timberwolves). Blue and seagreen can clash, but the white adds the space to keep them apart.

Clarity: 2 - Except for the sides, strong, strong, strong. Those sides are hideous, though.

Unique Qualities: 2 – Nice try on the whole “Lynx Trax,” but really, this isn’t the NLL.

Intangibles: 2 – Stands out in the mind

OVERALL: 10. Is failure going to far? Or not going far enough? Whatever. This one fails.

NEW YORK LIBERTY

Color Scheme: 3.5 – It’s not the best color scheme in the world, but at least it’s consistent and bright.

Clarity: 4 – Relatively clear. The orange trim comes and goes, and the slice on the side, while not adding anything particularly strong, doesn’t really detract.

Unique Qualities: 3 - True, there are lots of other blue-favored teams in the WNBA, but the Libs get points for not going hog-wild on the colors, side-designs, and numbers.

Intangibles: 3.5 - Like the city, it grows on you.

OVERALL: 14. A nice, good jersey. Not a classic, by any means, but with a lot to like about it. Some more white could’ve taken this up a notch.

PHOENIX MERCURY

Color Scheme: 3 – It’s cool, but that’s a bit neon. Kinda like a stoner’s room.

Clarity: 4 - Save for the cuts on the side, very neat and tight.

Unique Qualities: 2 - Um… see Los Angeles and Sacramento. Done? Now look back here. Eh.

Intangibles: 3 I like the logo. And the red. I think the purple could’ve been a nice maroon, though.

OVERALL: 12. Decent all-around, but not enough to stand out in a crowd.

SACRAMENTO MONARCHS

Color Scheme: 2.5 - I… well… uh… hmmm.

Clarity: 2.5 – Ditto.

Unique Qualities: 3 – It’s unique. I’ll give it that.

Intangibles: 3 – It’s so bad, it’s good.

OVERALL: 10.5. I just can’t find much to like or dislike here.

SAN ANTONIO SILVER STARS

Color Scheme: 1 - Black, white, and grey. There’s a reason the L.A. Kings dropped this in the late 90s. Snoooooze.

Clarity: 1 – Nice stars all over the place. This isn’t a college football helmet. And the way they abruptly end on the front? Ugh.

Unique Qualities: 0 – Does being the worst count? I don’t think so.

Intangibles: 2 – Tip of the hat for wearing black, but wag of the finger for not sticking by it.

OVERALL: 4. UNCLEAN!!!! UNCLEAN!!!

SEATTLE STORM

Color Scheme: 4 – Strong, and indeed (in my opinion), stronger than their brothers, the Sonics. Notice how the red accentuates but does not overpower, nor disappear.

Clarity: 5 – The red swooshes on the side only add to the overall effect, while the yellow shows off the green in contrast.

Unique Qualities: 3 – Nothing incredibly unique, although the restraint shown could be an example for the rest of the league.

Intangibles: 5 – A really nice look, with good trim, lettering, and form.

OVERALL: 17. Really, really good. The more I look at it, the more I like it.

WASHINGTON MYSTICS

Color Scheme: 3 – Predominantly Blue, with some black on the sides, plus gold and white accents. The black could’ve been dropped, frankly, and the gold and white put to a little more use.

Clarity: 3 – What’s up with those Black stripes on the side? Really, some more thought could have gone into this.

Unique Qualities: 3 – Nice letters and numbers, even if they are straight from the Wiz.

Intangibles: 1 – Solid design, but those black stripes REALLY hurt the overall look.

OVERALL: 10. It could’ve been early “Raging Bull” Robert De Niro. Instead, it’s later “Raging Bull” Robert De Niro.

So, overall, I guess my faves would be the Sun and the Storm. The worst? Definitely the Silver Stars.

On the whole, let's get some new color schemes out there! There are seven teams with blues of varying degrees as their primary color, while another three have purple (or purplish) colors. One green, one red, and one black... let's get something else out there.

Thursday Update - Snoresville

So, not a lot to talk about today. Big game tomorrow for the Liberty, taking on their first road game against the hapless Lynx.

I would call them pussies, but that might be sexist…

Other than that, not much. The Libs have their new jerseys for sale online. Whether one can customize the name/numbers on the back is left to the imagination.

Thanks, Official Website, for helping keep me confused!

Also marketed as "The Doom-Bringers"

Overall, I like the jerseys. But look at the description. “Tribal Designs”? What is THAT supposed to mean? It’s a slanted turquoise triangle! And tribal? Isn’t that a political no-no word?

Still not as bad as this, though. It literally makes me shake my head in shame.

Still, on the whole, strong look. That gives me an idea…

I was Rodin's model

Rating all of the league’s new jerseys! Killer! Check back at 5 when I rate all of the teams on their looks. Jersey-wise, that is. Martina Weber is still Queen.

That I a chisel and stone, I wouldst create a statue in thine likeness.

AROUND THE LEAGUE…

Shock 94, Mystics 79

(My Pick: Shock by 8)

Swin Cash had 21 points, while the rest of the Shock shot 70 percent of their 3-pointers (as compared to 30 percent by Washington). The Mystics continue on their descent, limping back to the District to play the Sky tomorrow.

The Sky are always good to help break a slide.

Mercury vs. Silver Stars

Sun vs. Sky

I’m picking the Mercury in this one. I learned my lesson: never bet against Taurasi. Phoenix by 7.

Sun versus Sky. That sounds like a song by Kansas.

Badassnus in Extremus

Anyway, it’s in Chicago, but the Sun are looking to right their course, and Chicago… well, I don’t think much of them.

Like this game, total Joke...

Sun by 9.

Until Five...

See ya, Space Cowboy...

The Now and Future

A meaningful discussion of WNBA’s future needs to be honest, so let’s not delude ourselves here. Attendance has dropped, TV ratings are anemic, and sponsorships are not what the owners want them to be. With the exception of the Liberty, Shock, (probably) Sparks, and (possibly) Monarchs, teams post losses year after year while the league itself has never shown a profit. Players make more money playing in Europe and are also treated better, while the WNBA, once the butt-end of jokes and sexuality-threatened rants, has dwindled in the public eye (I don’t know which is better?). Things, in the end, are not going all that well.

This is not to say that all hope is lost. The Sun have increased attendance every year since they’ve been in Connecticut, while several teams show strong ties to local communities and have indeed posted mild profits. If one discounts Chicago’s horrid attendance from last year (admittedly creating an unfair look at the league), the average attendance for 2006 was about 7,994 people league-wide, still a drop from the year before but not quite as catastrophic as some would claim. The Sting, while missed, were losing fans and sponsors faster than a Chicago sports team after a losing season, and the NBA seems determined (resigned?) to keep the WNBA steady. What can be done, however, to change this league from (at best) a joke to something achieving respectability? Hope and a great product cannot substitute for reality and an uninterested populace. The WNBA cannot continue on its current path of hoping that a horse, without being lead, will find water and then drink it. I submit that creative business plans are the answer.

First off, really expand the ticket base; I know, easier said than done, but don’t think of it in the rigid terms of the MLB or NBA. TV Ratings will increase if fans come to see the game, not the other way around. As the AFL has shown, simply having a TV contract doesn’t guarantee returns (that league began to succeed after it focused on home attendance). How can this be achieved? In the immediate future, decrease ticket prices, especially in the rafters. Most money is made from food and rink anyway, and offering ridiculously cheap prices could at least tempt the curious part of the public who are interested but do not want to pay ten or twenty dollars. Don’t do it across the board; a certain amount of worth and mystique is good when it comes to floor and close seats. Remember, however, that these drops are not to appeal for the base fans. The league can only exist on the faithful's shoulder's for so long. These are for the curious few who are looking for any reason NOT to go to a game. Remove that disincentive. Decrease ticket prices.

Secondly, to increase season ticket sales, provide good reasons to buy them. I considered buying season tickets to the Liberty for myself and my girlfriend, but what’s the point? I can only afford the ten-dollar seats, and there isn’t a discount available. What if I can’t go to a game? I lose those tickets. Instead, we’re going to go to all the games we can make, and in the end, save the same amount of money. Looking at this, then, ALWAYS have a discount for season tickets. Allow for lay-away plans, in which (like Baseball, the NFL, and really, every other league) fans can pay for their tickets in installments with an initial deposit. Make it so that season-ticket holders can turn in unused tickets for later games (availability-dependant). These seem like reasonable things to do, and with the exception of discounts, don’t actually cost any money. In fact, the law-away plan can raise MORE money.

None of this matters if the WNBA can’t reach its core base, though. This includes college sports fans, women’s hoops fans, and female athletes of all ages. The WNBA should be actively recruiting and doing things with women’s high school basketball, and college hoops, for that matter. Get some stars to show up to a practice, give out free tickets, get them into the games. These are the people who not only want/need role models, but they are the natural fans of the WNBA. Things like this are already in place with many teams, but they should be done by all teams, all the time. Make it so that it is easy for them to come to a game, and, in time, these will be the people who will grow and support the WNBA in their adulthood. But how to get them in the stands on a regular basis?

That’s where marketing comes in. Guerilla marketing has worked well for numerous underground and lower-end companies. Think American Apparel and, before that, Sprite. “We Got Next” was a great campaign because it increased visibility and showed off stars. Something like that needs to happen now. Or increase the need for rivalries. Pump up the L.A.-New York game, or the Detroit-Sacramento rematch of the finals (that game was the season opener, and drew barely above eleven thousand people; someone’s PR firm needs to be fired). Above all, get seen. Fliers, sponsorships of events, players at parties, autograph sessions before and after games. Diana Taurasi, when she came into the league, should have been on numerous talk shows and on as many magazine covers as possible. The WNBA champions should try and meet the President. Don’t seem desperate, because that could have the opposite effect. The game itself is great: it is the audience that needs to get expanded. Try some unorthodox moves and it will pay off.

Above all, they should keep at it. Once people have a good experience at a game, they are more likely to come back or become regulars. One idea that has worked for minor league hockey teams (an example being the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins) is to allow amateur teams access to the court for a match before/after scheduled games in exchange for tickets. Here’s how it works: two teams get to play a game on the big-stage with their friends – and parents, if they’re in school – looking on (imagine being a kid growing up in the Bronx and getting to play in Madison Square Garden), but must sell a certain amount of tickets to the tied game in the process (let’s say five). Two teams, fifteen people each, plus coaches, times five tickets per person, could mean up to one hundred tickets sold based on this. Not that much, but still, a draw, and it’s a great community connection.

Nothing like this will work if the WNBA front office can’t get its act together. Each team should be required to regularly update its own website (I’m looking at you, New York Liberty. Why bother having a website if one doesn’t regularly do things to reach out to fans. Hire a hip web-design company to create a new look and ADVERTISE on local websites. Related to that is the TV Contract: the ABC contract is great, but the league should also push local affiliates to carry games. Those are the people who are going to watch the game anyway, so why not hype that up? That’s how the NHL has survived low ratings: high local ratings. Hire interns from the ranks of girl’s basketball players: it creates loyalty and its cheap, not to mention the passion involved. Above all, just clean up the front office. Why is it that the Sun can sell-out games (admittedly in a smaller arena and in a women’s hoops hotbed) in Uncasville, Connecticut while the Liberty struggle to pull in more than eleven-thousand in a metropolitan area of twenty million people? It’s not necessarily laziness, but it is connected to really striving to get the word out. They shouldn’t be afraid to spend money; they’re losing it anyway. Overlook short-term losses in favor of long-term gains.

Above all, the WNBA needs to be wary of the pitfalls of expansion. While a 14th team in the Eastern conference should be added to balance schedules and travel, it would be folly to over-extend the market. The lure, of course, is the hope of finding an untapped market that is dying for women’s basketball. This is not as crazy as it sounds; in the NHL, the Tampa Bay region (hardly a hockey hot-bed) has turned the Lightning into one of the premier teams in the league. However, much like the rest of the NHL (and to an extent, the MLB), over-expansion could dilute an already-thin demand for the WNBA, while also increasing travel-time and diminishing the talent pool available. The cemetery of dead sports is littered with the headstones of over-extended leagues: the WHA, ABA, USFL, MILL, NBL, dozens of minor baseball leagues, and many, many more. The NHL almost expanded beyond its reach (Helloooo, Nashville), and even baseball struggles in a few of its markets. The money from the expansion fee is not enough. The league needs stability, not an ever-changing cast of characters.

The league seems hell-bent on expanding, however, and I hope that the WNBA will not expand significantly. If it does, it should look to markets that are ready-made for teams. Small markets, while attractive for having the WNBA being the only game in town, ultimately may fail to produce winners. Why would someone in the middle of New Mexico care about women’s basketball? At least with large populations (though Chicago has shown that this is not always the case), there is a shotgun-effect chance that if even one percent of the population goes to games that it will lead to monumental ticket sales.

Where do we find these mythic places of money and hoops fans? Right under our noses. Philadelphia, for one, has rabid sports fans (their AFL, NLL, and NHL teams all sell-out, for crying out loud), a perfect site (the Spectrum), an NBA fan-base built-in, and is situated two hours from both New York and Washington. Denver, which had an NBL team and an owner desperate to bring it back to the WNBA, seems like a decent choice as well. The population is good, and as shown by the Chill (NBL), the market is there. The Bay Area, with a good public transportation system and a strong sporting market, is another idea, as is Las Vegas (proximity to several teams), Dallas (largest market without a WNBA team), and possibly Atlanta (good market, but who knows). An argument could even be made (though I won’t do so) that adding a total of three teams could do wonders for the league (expansion fees are dispersed – partially – to all teams) in the short term, and increase visibility without cutting too much into talent or interest. This is a way to go, and I won’t deny that it has some appeal.

This model for expansion, however, does not seem to be the case, however. Current sites that the WNBA is looking into include Albuquerque (whoa, now…), Kansas City (wha?), and Northern Arkansas (no, really). The Sun succeed in a non-NBA market primarily due to the success of UConn’s women’s team. Why would a middle-market city like Kansas City, filled with the same nuclear families that have been noted to be turned off by the large number of lesbians in attendance at games, be any different from, say, Charlotte, a team with strong basketball roots that just couldn’t get it up for the Sting? Why Northern Arkansas? Is the WNBA really THAT desperate?

In a sense, yes. The media likes to play the WNBA as a third-tier sports league, and to be fair, it is. We shouldn’t let the league be treated as if its some bottom-tier Kenyan Soccer league, but let’s face the facts. The MLS is bigger right now in every category than the WNBA. So is AA-Level Baseball, for that matter. When the Altoona Curve outdraw three WNBA teams, that’s not a good sign, and people don’t hear enough about it. What’s out of sight is out of mind.

So, above all, talk to various media outlets. Demand WNBA coverage. Tell them that you like their sports section, but that you’re a WNBA fan, and even a half-page of women’s hoops news would be great. Call in to sports talk shows and withstand the laughs and derisions of the morons there and get the word of the WNBA out there. Don’t let up. Support the Storm as their fans try to keep the team in Seattle (one of the most successful teams in the league should NOT be moving to Oklahoma City). Don’t let the rest of the country (or your friends) forget that demeaning women’s hoops just because it is played by women is unacceptable. This is the 21st century. Let’s stop acting like Neanderthals.

And, of course, the little things help. Go to games. Bring friends. Buy food there. Watch coverage, if possible. Write a blog, if you can. Tell your team your ideas, and keep the league informed as well. Just keep doing things, and eventually, things will change. If they don’t, then maybe the WNBA wasn’t meant to exist. But don’t worry. If it folds, I guarantee that a different, better, more adaptable women’s league will pop in its place. With strong support in several markets, it proves that there is a need. Maybe the WNBA isn’t the right purveyor of this entertainment, but someone is. Who knows who, but she or he is out there, waiting for a chance to bring a great sport to the masses. It’s not the game, remember; just the packaging. The packaging can change. Don’t give up hope.


(Day post to come before noon)

This is not to say that the WNBA and its teams do NOT do any of the things listed above, merely that they do not get enough recognition, nor do all teams do all of these things all the time. There needs to be an effort by everyone involved - from the commissioner of the league to the teams to the fans - to get the Good News out there.

SCRIBBLIN’ AND DRIBBLIN’

Guess who’s the Eastern Player of the Week...

Hellz yeah. Tight like her alma mater, BYU.

I learned about this via the Daily News, by the way, NOT the Liberty’s official website. Way to be on the ball guys.

He’s a bad webmaster, but he gets paid in bananas.

From WNBA.com, “A first-year starter for the Liberty, Thorn is currently ranked second in the league in three-point field goals made (11) behind Taurasi (12), and is ranked fourth in points per game (22.5).” This coming from a woman who was fetching towels for Teresa Weatherspoon only a few short years ago.

A similar event occurred with a certain Yale cheerleader…

Next stop for Erin Thorn? Winning the championship.

Erin Thorn later colonized Mars after being named Best WNBA Player of all Time.

Now that Erin Thorn has been officially recognized as “Off-The-Hook” (in the parlance of our times), I am going to start a new project…

There’s pine on her shorts, but fire in her eyes.

Get Martina Weber in the game. Strong player, and, though The Writer’s Girlfriend may kill me, Weber is rather (read: incredibly) hot. Contact the Liberty, you faithful few, and… well, first get on them to get a better site manager…

Insert another Banana reference…

…but THEN talk to them about getting this future Mast… er, Mistress of the Universe in the game.

AROUND THE LEAGUE…

Indiana 89, Minnesota 75
San Antonio 82, Houston 71
Phoenix 76, Sacramento 75

So, I would have been 2-1 had I picked officially last night (Stars and Fever, but not Mercury). I seriously thought the Monarchs would’ve kept on gettin’ on, but hey! They Mercury ain’t bad, and the win was close. So, I guess that means that I’m back on the hook for official picks.

vs.

Mystics @ Shock

I am tempted to pick the Mystics here, because the Shock are due for an upset… but I can’t. I’d take the Mystics with points, however. Shock by 8.

Strong(er) attendance at games last night. The Mercury drew over 7K, the Lynx pulled in 6.3K (not great, but better than before), and the Comets brought home over 10K. I feel that as the summer starts to get into swing and people start coming out to games, this will only go up. Hey, if the Lynx can draw over six-thou in May, imagine how the Mercury will pull in August?

MORE Power Rankings from the WNBA (not to be confused with those from the ESPN). Um… well… uh… huh? The Liberty are ninth with a perfect record and a game coming up against Minnesota. That most likely (see below) means that they are going to be 3-0 before coming home to play Taurasi and the Mercury.

Taurasi and the Mercury… that sounds like an 80’s Hair-Band…

Admittedly, that makes them perfect against teams with a combined (at this point) 1-10 record, but hey, look on the bright side. They’re warming UP! They have the confidence that they CAN win. Think of them as the Spartans and the rest of the league as the Persians…

Garbage movie, apt metaphor.

Pessimists who point out that they could be ill-prepared for a contender will be shot.

Just remember Buster Douglas… after defeating Mike Tyson, but before losing to crack

About the only thing that they agree on is that the Lynx are at the bottom. I haven’t seen Minnesota play yet, so I can’t qualify, but they HAVE lost their first five games. That’s a ticket to the cellar if you’ve ever seen it.

Minnesota’s 2007 destiny…

"We knew coming in that when you have five rookies, there are going to be ups and there are going to be downs. At the same time, we're competitive by nature. We want to win all 34 games. Realistically, we know that isn't going to happen." - Minnesota first-year coach Don Zierden after the Lynx's 74-64 loss to Sacramento, dropping the team to 0-4 for the first time in franchise history, to the Associated Press.

Guess that fifth game didn’t help right the ship, huh?

I’m not trying to be cruel. I wish the Lynx the best (especially over Chicago) but this doesn’t look like their year.

In ambivalent news, check out SonicsCentral.com. Good site, not a huge amount on the Storm (It’s Sonic-heavy. Duh.), but anyone who brings the plight of a team moving is solid. Support them and any other Save the Storm campaign.

Donna Oreander: Let’s allow an owner to move one of our strongest teams to an untested market!

Pass the Malox.

Until tomorrow…

See ya, Space Cowboy…

PERFORMANCE DAY - Mamet

In the tradition of David Mamet, I give you this short sketch. Sorry if you don’t get the joke, and for Mamet fans out there wishing for a more Glengarry Glen Ross-style sketch, just include “fuck” wherever possible. Regular post to follow in an hour or so...

A LIFE IN THE WNBA

SETTING: The New York Liberty Locker-room.

(The rest of the team is filing out. SHAMEKA CHRISTON, in uniform, sits while TERESA WEATHERSPOON, in a suit, stands.)

WEATHERSPOON: Another year…

CHRISTON: Yup. Another one.

WEATHERSPOON: You think it’ll last?

CHRISTON: I hope so.

WEATHERSPOON: You hope so?

CHRISTON: I know so.

WEATHERSPOON: You know so?

CHRISTON: “What?”

WEATHERSPOON: I’m just trying-

CHRISTON: You’re just trying to “what”?

WEATHERSPOON: Look, you know me.

CHRISTON: Yes.

WEATHERSPOON: And so-

CHRISTON: I might be the only one.

WEATHERSPOON: Excuse me?

CHRISTON: Come on.

WEATHERSPOON: Ten thousand fans-

CHRISTON: Fans?

WEATHERSPOON: You know what I’m saying.

CHRISTON: Then say it.

WEATHERSPOON: I will.

CHRISTON: Good.

Pause.

CHRISTON: You don’t got it anymore.

WEATHERSPOON: I got it.

CHRISTON: It, huh?

WEATHERSPOON: I’ve forgot more about it than you ever learned.

CHRISTON: You don’t learn it.

WEATHERSPOON: Then…

CHRISTON: It just comes.

WEATHERSPOON: You’ll see.

CHRISTON: I’ll see?

WEATHERSPOON: You’ll see.

GAME BUZZER.

WEATHERSPOON: That’s the game.

CHRISTON: It’s just started.

She Exits.

Mad Libs

So, no Liberty games over the weekend… or until late this week.

The WNBA Scheduler, if The Writer ran the world

However, lots of other stuff happened…

AROUND THE LEAGUE…

San Antonio 82, Seattle 71
(My Pick: Silver Stars by 7)

Chicago 82, Minnesota 77
(My Pick: Lynx by 8)

Phoenix 111, Houston 85
(My Pick: Comets by 6 ½)

Los Angeles 88, Connecticut 68
(My Pick: The Sun. Dammit.)

Cue Tom Petty music…

So, I’m 5-5 on the year in terms of pics. Considering that this is my first season really following the league, that’s not half-bad. It’s better than the Pittsburgh Pirates.

Under .500 since 1993!

I should have known not to bet against Diana Taurasi at home. The Writer’s Girlfriend is considering leaving the The Writer for Taurasi, who scored 37 points against the Comets. Wow.

Dumb Ass

As for the Chicago-Minnesota game, that was a close one. The Sky were up 64-47 late in the third, but the Lynx went on a tear, outscoring the Sky 30-18 in the last twelve minutes. Honestly, these teams are both bad, and like I said before, this was a crapshoot. Some numbers for my case? Chicago was last in the league in FGP, scoring 35.8% from the field before their last game. As for Minnesota? Four straight losses. Ouch.

Actual shot from Target Center in Minneapolis

I picked up the Silver Stars win, though, and they had a decent game, while I can’t say anything about my pick on the Suns. Ugh. I was completely wrong on that one, and have no excuse for it.

Tastes like Crow

Attendance on the weekend? Average of about 6,600. Not good. Not good at all. To be fair, both the Phoenix game and Connecticut game saw crowds over 8,000 (although that was the Sun’s home opener) and who can blame Minnesota fans for not wanting to see the Lynx lose their fourth straight game?

The Minnesota Women’s High School State Championship Game

That brings me to another point… while I know that the Lynx have their fans and don’t deny them the pleasure of a team, is Minnesota (or Washington or San Antonio) really a big enough city to support a team in a niche-sport at the moment? Their closest rivals are in Chicago (NOT in the same division, by the way). Couldn’t some other city have been a better choice for a WNBA team?

The Writer was found dead after a mob of Silver Stars’, Mystics’, and Lynx’s (Lynxs’?) fans rioted and beat the struggling Blogger to death with their thunder sticks.

Read this upcoming Thursday’s essays for more trials and tribulations in the WNBA’s future and expansion…

I’m going to hold off the usual picks for today’s games and keep ‘em private to see if I am truly cut out for this Bookie gig. If you guys have calls, post ‘em. Props and name recognition to those who do the best/funniest.

Just for the record…

Indiana @ Minnesota
San Antonio @ Houston
Sacramento @ Phoenix

THE LIBERTY

You know… the reason this blog exists?

Sunday is Dads and Daughters Day. To all five of you who read this blog, if you have a Dad and are a Daughter (or were one at one time, or are one now thanks to surgery), or if you are a Dad and have a Daughter, go and see a game. It’s fun bonding time and it’s better than having a certain princess reading celebrity blogs and looking up to miscreants.

The Decay and Decadence of Western Civilization

This Friday are taking on the Lynx, who su-

…er, are a really decent team, actually, in beautiful, balmy Minneapolis. The Lynx could be coming in 0-5 if they lose to Indiana (a strong possibility), and that would mean BAD news for the Libs. The Lynx are bad, but they’re not 0-6 bad. That’s gut-check time, and the Liberty could be waltzing towards a minefield.

Sign in front of Minnesota’s Target Center

Nice article from the AP/APP about the Liberty. This week’s Liberty Belle features prominently in it.

Uplifting story from Haaretz (unless you happen to think that Israel should be wiped off the face of the Earth)

Power Rankings are up on ESPN. As stated before, I am not too inclined to trust these power rankings. However, the Libs ARE number 3 on the list. I guess someone has been paying attention.


All right, I’m outta here. I’m dead tired from my 6 A.M. flight. Until tomorrow…

See ya, Space Cowboy…